flappy wings

flappy wings and little eyes

that’s why I was maybe possibly late

i tried to say goodbye quickly but her armies got excited and tried to lift off

baby bird, littlest duck

so I held her again, the way she molds just right against my chest

her fuzzy head in the crook of my shoulder cuddling to momma and that means me

I kiss the curve of her baby nose and sniff her head and explain about making us money and coming home soon

The things we’ll do, stories I promise and playing together

And praying (she makes me kinder to the baby thief)

And hands that mommy grew hold on a little tighter than 5 minutes ago

How am I supposed to go

to work or anywhere without my baby hands; they will miss me

And I pass her back to Da and get my pumping supplies from the table

But her eyes, awwwww 😦

Her eyes follow me and her flappy wings start to fly and I

I can’t keep leaving her here needing mom and nobody else and wanting me

I know that ache, little arms and eyes and hands and wings all at once, I know that urgency

You need me more

So I’ll be the brave one

And I’ll step outside and I’ll start to leave

And I don’t look back because I know what I’d see

I might have been strong enough to leave the first time but momma’s got her own

flappy wings